the engineer tensed his jaw the moment that he heard her speak. he was far too loyal to continually voice his disapproval on coulson’s choice to team up with grace and kara. plus hunter currently had no issues telling coulson off for wanting to work with the unlikely pair. but it wasn’t as if they had much choice with ‘new shield’ hunting them down. however that didn’t mean fitz’s skin didn’t crawl just by being around grace. just her voice alone brought him back to that day he tried every time to forget. that day that would haunt both him and jemma until the day they died. “i don’t t-trust you, get away from me,” his hands were shaking and now amount of control he’d gain over the past few months could make them stop.
she hadn’t noticed she was holding her breath until he speaks && she doesn’t let it go until he’s done. she steps back with her hands spread trying to show what no one wanted to HEAR – she didn’t want to hurt them( not all of them anyway, she reminds herself, not what had once been her team. ) it’s been months since she had to be careful of every move she makes like this && she hasn’t missed it;; watching his hands shake, jaw clench && trying to put together the best way to diffuse the situation without just WALKING AWAY. this is something she’s good at, something she’s s u p p o s e d to be good at, but now even when she doesn’t intend for her words to push buttons they still do. “i’m AWAY – nowhere near you, see?? i don’t want your trust, fitz…we have to try to work together. can’t do that very well when you won’t talk to me.“
“fitz…” it’s stupid –she’s stupid, stupid for thinking this might ever work&& she could just TALK to him like they were normal people after everything that’s happened (she wonders, for a heart stopping moment, if she really is becoming like christian ;; a HYPOCRITE. ) “fine, you hate me but y’know what?? you’re gonna have to talk to me at some point. i just…”
it was always going this way. there was a reason garrett told her to keep her distance from everyone – her friends were ALWAYS going to be what killed her. she caused it, with her loyalties &&poor choices&& hurting them first, she knows that, but she hadn’t thought bobbi might be the one to end her life.
she had considered it in detail more than once – had been sure it would be one of the team. maybe skye would finish the job or jemma would get it right next time ;; maybe may wouldn’t hold back next time she saw her or fitz could go through with it. or, just maybe, the righteous man entrusted with the world would finally realize she was too far gone to keep alive && kill his traitor.
her fate had seemed almost intertwined with theirs, with all she had done to them it would have only been fitting. but it’s BOBBI stood in front of her, face bloody &&dirty, with a knife in her hand. she has one of her own, a small pocket knife that’s sharp enough to do the job. this is her own doing – pushing kara to seek her own CLOSURE && torturing the agent who had been their friend. she hopes kara stays away until it’s over, hopes she’ll be okay in spite of who wins this fight.
there’s no need for words between them anymore, they’ve said all they need to already && no matter how much they wanted to get through to the other neither were listening. she regrets it in a way, she same way she regrets not listening to hill or fitz or coulson or skye – she had never listened&& she won’t change for bobbi morse. the blond knows that too, she’s sure.
grip on the knife so tight her knuckles turn white, it’s the sound of footsteps that push them into finally making their moves. this is NECESSARY, she tells herself when she slices into bobbi’s shoulder && scrambles to prop a chair under to door handle to keep kara out of this. this is between them, no one else had to die too.
a wordless yell escapes her throat when the knife slides between her shoulder blades. deep enough that it h u r t s but not far enough she’ll die from that alone. it gives bobbi enough time to kick her into the wall hard enough she cracks the glass window. she lunges forward, shoves her knife into the blonds thigh meaning it to be more VISCOUS than it is – it feels more desperate than calculated. too fucking sloppy.
it’s a back && forth between them, a give &&take –tit for tat. at some point they STOP being agents, they’re not killers or spies here. they’re those stupid kids back at the academy, they’re two friends who’ve been hurt, who are angry, hurt –abandoned &&betrayed. they’re fighting to hurt, not to win, because all they want to do anymore is make the other feel their pain.
at some point they stop to regain breath, they’re both bleeding && bruised &&clinging on to their anger to anchor them. she thinks she hears bobbi ask why or maybe it’s her imagination && she doesn’t know what to say. why did she befriend her? why betray people who cared for her? why do this? who ruin their friendship?
the answer is she just doesn’t know anymore. she stopped looking back the third time she woke up from sedation cuffed to a bed ALONE in the dark. her eyes s t i n g with the need to cry but she doesn’t do that anymore – she won’t do that here. she’s not a child, she’s not weak && she is not going to cry in front of bobbi morse.
“why’d you never tell them” she says &&ignores the sting of the knife biting into her palm. the pain GROUNDS HER, focuses her, gives her the control she needed. garrett had always been right about that – she was at her best when she was in pain.
they just keep going until her muscles ACHE && she can hear her heart pounding in her ears. her arms broken, bone going straight through the skin, but she’d broke bobbi’s leg in return. her throat hurts from SHOUTING – it felt like they’d been shouting at each other forever. everything hurts && it needs to e n d but there was never a peaceful solution to this.
the dim light hits bobbi’s blood stained knife && she plays with her own, turning it over in her hand && ignoring the sting when it cuts skin. she knows what she has to do. she pushes herself forward into the blond, wrapping an arm around her neck as if in a hug. she pulls the blond in TIGHTER without compromise&& feels the blade slide home between her ribs. thumb pressed on the butt of the handle, she stays true to what everyone thinks of her. she stabs the knife into bobbi’s back && leaves it there before falling back.
she stumbles back, pulling the knife from her body && falls into the wall. sliding down it she hears a similar THUMP next to her && glances over to see bobbi next to her. ‘bitch ’ she hears it quietly but there’s little over noise to cover it && she LAUGHS, it’s more of a cough&& it brings blood with it but it catches && they’re both laughing through the pain.
it’s the exhaustion or they’re hysteric, she decides && keeps laughing anyway. the pains only fading && she KNOWS what it means. she knows what’s going to happen, regrets not seeing kara one last time. “got any regrets over there?” she asks quietly but doesn’t look at her to see if she’s going to answer or not. “i damn well hope marrying hunter’s one of them, barbara” she adds && something changes.
it’s the tension, the anger, the BETRAYAL. it all slips away. they’re both dying, there’s no point in dwelling in that anymore, instead it feels almost the same as when they were young agents. they almost feel like friends again. they talk about none of the questions they both still had, they don’t RUIN these last moments && let those be their last words. they talk about just about everything else instead – the guy who used to work back up all the time who always seemed to sniff the stationary( ’no, not hydra barbie, just really passionate about office supplies’) , what really happened when they got separated on that hike (’if you had told me you fucked him in the woods i wouldn’t have hooked up with him at Christmas…i would have just checked if his oral really was that good’. )
at some point she starts to lean her head on bobbi’s shoulder, she just gives in&& stays there && feels bobbi lean against her too. she doesn’t lie to herself when she closes her eyes, she’s not just resting, she’s going to die soon && there’s NOTHING she can do about it. they’re going to die here, both of them, && it’s almost fitting. they practically graduated the academy together, over a decade later they were going to die in a shitty old warehouse because of her somewhere between enemies &&friends. they’re not either in this moment but that’s o k a y – no one in her life has ever been strictly anything.
“it wasn’t a lie y’know” it feels important, it’s something she HAS TO say, she can’t let her die without telling her. she’s tried before, to tell the team THE TRUTH, she o w e s bobbi the same. “he didn’t tell me to be your friend– no one did. it was real, to me” she’s not sure bobbi’s even awake to hear this now, she can feel the faint breaths but hears nothing to show her words are being acknowledged. that’s okay, at least she will have said it. “…you were my first real friend. might’ve been my only one– for a long time anyway. it was ALL REAL” her hand sneaks out, covers bobbi’s, wonders if it was worth it. “&& i’m sorry.”
she’s so sorry. she sorry for everything – she’s sorry for letting everyone who had ever believed in her down, sorry for always getting everything so WRONG, sorry for never listening, thinking she was fine ALONE – she’s sorry for this. && she’s sorry for the fact kara’s going to be left with the fallout, kara’s going to find then when she finally gets in, kara’s going to have to face shield’s WRATH alone. she also knows kara’s going to be just fine without her – they’re the ones going into the UNKNOWN now instead. kara will be fine. everyone will be fine.
❝ My professional opinion, huh? No offense, but the job looks sketchy. Look at what they’re asking us to do. Unless something else pops up, we should keep our options open. Take it only as a last resort option. After our last run-in, we need to be careful. You can’t die on me so soon. ❞
“wasn’t planning on it– not to brag but i’m pretty indestructible. are you calling my dear, slightly murderous, friends sketchy now kara palamas?? i’ll have you know they’ve only ever given me a bad job once;; we can do a ramen run tomorrow. get some cheap JUNK to tide us through until my more trustworthy friends send something decent our way. i hear the mafia’s recruiting now?”
“if we take that job we’re set for a couple more months, if not we can get by on ramen until my guy wires me some more money (what kinds of sick bastards freeze my shoe savings too??) both look kinda bleak right now…your professional opinion?”
daring to put her feet up on the table, a carefully constructed image of smug relaxation despite the paranoia keeping her muscles TENSE, she had been happy to ignore anyone coming in or out of the room. most of the looks of unease, even disgust, had rolled off her back – they were people she didn’t know by name && didn’t care about their judgement – but the animosity that had entered with the short biochemist set her on edge more so than even may’s glare. “burning a hole in my back here simmons – want to just spit the abuse out n o w instead of later?? get it all outta our systems.”
welcome to the rules page, ngl most of these are the standard you see everywhere but some are p important so please try && make it through. i’ll give you brownies. i’m Kita, i'm 17, at college redoing my a-levels after i failed terribly && I am TRASH for the bad guys, sort of worryingly. never be afraid to hmu &&, for the record, just call me trash or bitch to be my friend really.
general
i know some people are not comfortable with the cisswapped thing && i get it, everyone has these things but i won’t stand for claims that ALL cisswaps are transphobic/awful. i’ve put in two years of effort into grace over different blogs && she’s the one muse who has never left me, she && ward in general are very important to me. i won’t take hate on either.
canon divergence
my main verse is head of hydra, yes, i accepted it a couple of eps into s3 but i do not follow canon at all. i did not watch any of s3 prior to 3x10 && i REFUSE to because i’m stubborn && petty. grace’s hydra is not aos hydra. she never went after coulson, rosalind, andrew, may’s family etc because i disagree with the motive && reasoning. grace is a MESS, her hydra want’s closure&& chaos which means destroying shield as a whole&& not thinking much past that. she doesn’t think shield can’t go on without coulson because, FFS, she knows the team. please don’t contradict this in a thread/starter unless we plot it.
on the note of contradicting-- i also ignore aos retconning of the ward family situation. i do not believe ward actively hurt thomas on his own&& so neither did grace. it was all through fearof&& manipulationfrom christian although she was slightly bitter towards him. that is one thing i won’t change because, as someone who has lived in a abusive home && a normal person, i find it absolutely vile.
a thing to note ( for kara, trip && bobbi players ) is that you may see references to grace knowing them all at the academy. i HATE that aos tried to pretend that ward had never so much as seen bobbi && kara in passing despite being similar ages just like trip. so i include in my portrayal (most particularly with casey ) that they were all friends at the academy. i will however check with you to see if you’re cool with that.
hive
i do have a verse for this...thing aos did but only due to obligation. hive is NOT ward, not MY muse && when i have written for hive i feel drained. the verse is also heavily based in a HEADCANON of mine that ward was brainwashed by malick prior to going to maveth. i have reasoning for it, i’ve believed it since the ep aired && some things said in 3b only gave me more confirmation for it. in my hive verse that is extended to killingrosalind while brainwashed.
triggers
now lbr here, grant ward has a shit ton of issues in general && grace isn’t different. of course there’s the expected triggers like child abuse, blood, death, torture, mental illness, conditioning etc. but there’s a few others worth mentioning here -- through verses there’s a lot of drug use, underage drinking&&sex references && most importantly rape is a heavy topic in both my red room au && the reunion tour verse. i do tag everything i see but occasionally some stuff does slip but let me know && i’ll tag it straight away although if you find triggering content difficult you may not be best suited here.
mains && exclusives
i’m always here for mains, ngl, it’s v nice to have someone i know is always down for me coming at them with plots. i will only have 3 mains for one character at a time &&obviously there’s a difference between ship && full exclusivity. i’ve noticed something recently && it’s only happened once or twice but it’s really frustrating for me -- if you do go EXCLUSIVE with me, i do expect it to be for grant ward. i feel really hurt when i talk about going mains/exclusives&& suddenly grace isn’t classed as ward. moving past that, my exclusive && mains list is here.
woops, time to be an asshole
there’s some fcs i don’t feel very comfortable rping with based on things i can’t really get past. that’s my problem && all but this is MY blog && if we don’t really know each other && you have one of these fcs i probably won’t want to rp with you -- holland roden, colton haynes.
shipping
i have my ships just like everyone&& for fitz rpers in particular this is important to read because you may find a lot of love for fitzward. i ship it platonically&&romantically, honestly, i live && breathe this ship. it’s one of the few ships in aos regarding ward i adore. i will NEVER force fitzward on you, i swear, but if you think it’s bleeding into our thread then please come tell me so i can correct it. i never want to force a ship on anyone. on a different note however, i enjoy ALL types of relationships && am hella here for them.
skyeward
ew nO NO NO NO NO. i DON’T much like the ship, i don’t like aos baiting it all the time for ratings, && no offence if you ship it but i can’t. the ship was unhealthy&& bad && some of the shippers have made it worse. the only hints of skyeward you see from me is with lily because, through verses && aus, our muses developed a sort of friendship. i will pointedly ignore aos && rewrite this framework bullshit in my verse for it.
smut
i’m seventeen so smut is a no no&& i don’t see it ever being a yes either.
following
i am both selective &&private. this means i will only RP with mutuals && even then may be selective. it’s just something for my mental health&& to help me manage my time better. i do not follow personal blogs unless i know the person well or they post stuff i like most of the time. i reserve the right to unfollow at any time but I’m happy to provide a why.
icons
i make all of my icons with time && effort. i cap them myself && they are under no circumstances up for public use. i do commissions&& if you can’t afford it i do sometimes accept requests too.
replies
i’m not a fast replier in general. please don’t expect me to spit them out very fast because it won’t happen. most things go in my drafts && some are queued. i have a busy life&& that makes it hard to be on top of all my shit.
formatting
i format my posts with tiny text&& usually 70px icons however you NEVER need to match it. if you have sight problems please tell me&& i’ll be careful with how i format.
plotting
i love to plot things honestly. gimme all the pre-established relationships&& aus. plotting is great && it also makes things EASIER with some muses considering grace can be kind of hard to place with some characters without being trope-y.
memes
always feel free to send me a meme. you don’t have to but if you do && want to turn it into a thread?make a new post && tag me.
innocence was never meant for you. born just after midnight, clock barely struck twelve && she was already seen as a disappointment to her parents. a golden eyed girl when they had wanted another boy out of their mistake; named for her grandmother out of convenience, she’s called many things as she grows (cute, precious, pure) but she’s never made to feel it. she smiles for the cameras&& kisses her fathers cheek, she holds her mothers hand && says she loves her brother but she hides in her room at night away from them all && she will never stop hearing the venomous hatred they whisper in her ear.
you feed then hatred. she grows up on extravagant parties, carefully planned lies&& PAIN. every party for as long as she can remember consists of her fathers older friends calling her over to their private table with the air around it THICK with smoke from their cigars. pulled onto their laps, asked seemingly meaningless questions they’d laugh to themselves about with her no wiser, their hands slip lower && lower from her waist as she gets older while her father never looks her in the eye &&no one speaks a word about it. the fear of punishment should she dare to speak against it or them causes her to lash out silently. setting fires&& skipping school && hanging out with the people on the wrong side of town she was warned about – the boy racers && druggies && people who were never leaving town – even when their touch made her skin crawl. caught up in her rebellion, she thinks about the one thing that had always terrified her; her sexuality.
a deal with the devil. rebellion goes too far for her parent's && caught kissing a girl they ship her off to a boarding school miles away from where she can do their reputation harm. with only the quiet confidence she built up to protect herself, she keeps herself out of too much trouble despite her self destruction. cut off &&alone, she uses what she sees when others aren't looking to lie && bribe her way into a job at a bar she's too young to be working at. years of separating herself from everything around her serves her well when drunks get too close for comfort && when john garrett approaches her with a deal she get's closer. weeks later she's not surprised when he blows out the brains of a drunk who'd gotten his attack so far as to rip her dress. waking up the next morning in his hotel, it's when she looks into his eyes &&still believes him as she accepts his offer that she's truly damned.
to be molded. walking through the woods, acutely aware there's no one around to help her, she's terrified when they find themselves stopping at a small clearing. left with only a dog she's sure she's made a mistake && when he leaves her she leaves too. the dog follows her down the trail of tire marks until it's too dark to see. it rains&& with a dog tucked into her side, she tries to use a tree as cover. in the morning, cold && tired && hungry &&soaked to the bone, she walks back to the clearing where she left the bag of damp clothes. five years later with a gun heavy in her hand she's not sure if she made the right choice anymore.
just kids training to die someday. five years ago she had imagined something different, her naivety had imagined something something similar to her boarding school. but john had taken the wool from her eyes, she saw it for what it was -- a place they were teaching kids even younger than her how to be SOLDIERS. she tells herself she won't make friends, make real connections that'll stop her getting the job done. she finds herself training mostly with bobbi morse, kara palamas && antionne triplett, she lies to them everyday but still, she almost calls them friends. (this headcanon is totally optional if your a tip, kara or bobbi who doesn't like it.)
thoughts are deadly. don't think. agent grace ward doesn't always sound right to her ears. sometimes being referred to as ward makes her wince, that was always her parents, but it reminds her WHY she's there. WHO put her there, it's extra motivation when she needs it after long nights lying awake wondering why she's doing it. she's one of the best, one of shields best, && she does it allfor garrett.
judas among angels. garrett had told her long before she was pulled out of her mission that coulson was alive but he never cared to mention the resurrected agent wanted to recruit her for his team. with garrett she had never cared about pretending to be someone she WASN'T but stuck with no respite it gets to her. the urge to care about people besides herself && garrett. it's not just paperwork she's bad at after all.
when is a monster not a monster. it's the worst possible time for hydra to come out. the belonging she had felt for the first time in her life ends abruptly && it leaves a hollow, desperate, space in her. but in a choice of family or garrett, he would win every damn time.
they didn't look close enough. alone in the basement like a pet monster, she finds only silence. in the silence && the dark she finds memories. the memories plague her, of garrett, of her family. eventually they start to seem different from what she knows is true && it drives her crazy, drives her to desperation to make it END until she cuts her skin with well folded paper && runs into walls to make it stop. they save her for what she might know && she resents them for it until she can only accept it. she gives them the information they want when they ask for it && when they sell her to her brother like she's an item in a business transaction she runs. she finds him, she finds her parent's && after she finds the truth she kills them for access to daniel whitehall.
love so sweet. left for dead, it's kara palamas who saves her. almost disconcerting wearing may's face but they look after each other, they save each other. they never mean to become MORE but after weeks together bare with no judgement they do. she loves her, she loves her more than she's ever loved anyone. she never believed in soulmates before but with kara she's sure she's found the one. they get a house in mexico, they pick up work here && there but then coulson calls like they're at his beck && call. they help for their own ends && yet it only ends in kara dead in her arms.
a time old tragedy. with kara dead she's left alone again but in grief &&anger she clings to closure && never lets go. coulson once called her modest, said she knew a guy who knew a guy &&he was right. she calls old freelance contacts who did some work with hydra, gets them to find the remaining names. nothing but getting closure for kara matters to her anymore when she raises hydra from the ashes again.
dig plenty of graves. killed far from home on a mission she would never normally have gone on, she had been molded a long time ago, a survivor forged in dirt && rain, but with nothing left there’s nothing to keep her fighting. not against malick when he takes over && tries to assume a fatherly role for the lost girl who needed one. not against malick when he gives orders on WHO to kill with no why or care. not when she sufferers the very fate the woman she loved had &&certainly not when every fiber of her being says it’s time to S T O P surviving &&die to let hive live. body a vessel && consciousness just another voice && set of memories in it’s mind ;; true death comes eventually.
not your death song. she once said ghosts weren’t real && yet, dead twice, she’s still walking the earth. not properly but she’s there, she’s can touch && feel && talk. she’s never used the good things in life to change though. not only a ghost physically but in name too, everything she ever had is confiscated or would catch someones interest. she needs to wait && get something going until then ;; a mercenary is the next best option. only corporal when she wants &&untraceable – it’s perfect for what she is now. and if she uses the newly found powers to haunt Coulson then who's going to disapprove.
bad ideas. grace ward, a shield agent recruited young&& working with phil coulson since, despite her vexing nature she proved herself a good if unremarkable spy. known more for being recklessthan her accomplishments she still managed to maintain working friendships with director maria hill && agent phil coulson.
be legendary. friendship had led to a level of TRUST between them so when they started talking about a deep cover intelligence mission they didn't see what could go wrong. they put operation wiseguy together in secret -- a deep cover mission in hydra to get information shield couldn't on master gorgon--&& upon taking it to hill she approved. with a small number of allies &&tricks their plan slowly worked.
got a death wish. mission nearly over, six months nearly up, she threw herself in front of a modified repulsor shot for gorgon in a last ditch attempt to get what they needed. waking up in an infirmary with gorgon waiting he told her his true plan of freeing the world && taken in by his words she agreed to help him. betraying shield, she truly became one of his lieutenants && an agent of hydra.
probably going to hell. working on making his plan succeed for years, eventually she got her hands on an old iron man suit && used it. kidnapping coulson && his ex girlfriend, lola daniels, for information on the 'coulson protocols ' she got what she wanted however after killing lola ended up captured alongside gorgon. kept in a shield cell, content with watching everything coulson built crumble down while planning an escape.
nearly killed her friends. she feels ashamed that they ever saw that side of her. it’s a sharp pain she’s reminded of when she looks at them BUT she still helped them kill Garrett, she chose to turn her back on him && side with them. After a few months && vigorous supervision Coulson allows her to become a real agent again. People are uneasy around her && she doesn’t blame them, she don’t feel comfortable in her own skin either.
look out for yourself. the worst (?) decision of her life is saying yes to the demon, the one offering her the chance to get rid of her family && live well for a handful of years before going to hell. she’s a girl with few skills in the home && too strong a mind for looks alone to find her a suitor. what other option did she have with her younger siblings dead? she leaves it all behind ;; almost enjoys life for the rest of her life before being dragged to hell. aptly named for what it is. but after hundreds of years she gets cut a deal by the same demon – leave hell as a demon && be part of his entourage. there to do the bidding of john garrett. it’s her hand at torture that draws his eyes, there’s so much she could do that others couldn’t && she even gets her body back for the trouble.
smart && cunning. the next pureblood slytherin daughter in a long line of them, she’s nothing new. not that she could be if she tried, the publicity could ruin her family. christian is both the perfect example to follow && her keeper, making sure she kept her head down and out of trouble. the one thing she could never do.
curveballs sometimes. she’s not long out of the academy && anyone else probably wouldn’t panic over the mistake as she does. she fucks up. she fucks up so much she is terrified to be alone with john. the look of utter disappointment on his face stings, something she never wants to see again. a simple mission, one she perfected long before she even met garrett. seduce her mark. && she did, she did so expertly. himnot so much. it wasn’t too much to ask for him to put on a condom properly yet clearly he didn’t agree because lying back in bed after the most boring, && frankly lacking, sex she had ever had — the condom’s missing. she’s bagged her guy with the con of having a condom stuck inside her.
the most embarrassing moment of her entire life is lying on a bed in a standard SHIELD med wing while dr dick lucas retrieves it. the hushed laughter about the whole thing only dies down for a few days before the weeks of being ill && acting strange sends her back to dr dick. she doesn’t process the word’s ‘you’re pregnant ’ at first then she goes into hysterics. it was never one of the things she wanted from life, especially not now. she can’t get rid of it though, not that she stops working. she continues missions for as long as she can, then she runs them from the back end.
orion thomas elias ward is born in the same med facility she went to when he was conceived && dr dick is there still. She’s not surprised; she knows that john ordered him to keep an eye on her. she certainly doesn’t take to it like a natural, it’s a learning process that leaves her feeling like she could write a book && go on the view.
another black sheep. grace darling ward — she started out as someone who could have been america’s next sweetheart but that was never really something for her. even if she smiled for the cameras, she caused trouble the second they turned away. but living in luxury paid for a degree she barely worked for&& an apartment she doesn’t really live in all for the price of going home every once in a while && doing a family photoshoot.
she got the political science degree they wanted &&dabbled in business but that doesn’t interest her, christian’s the politician&& tommy will probably take over mother’s business. she’s the black sheep, she wants to perform, she prefers FUN. she would rather get paid to have her picture taken, enjoy expensive cars && go out with her friends. she drinks too much && she just about hide the drugs from the public. it’s much more fun to keep secrets && flash a smile than try to do something. she’s young, she has the rest of her life to worry about everything else.
dirty paws. as everything should be, bao is the closest person to her. the closest anythingto her – she can’t remember naming him, she thinks gramsy suggested it. it’s fitting, he always took the form of something that would protect her. he finally settles on the second month in the woods, she thinks it’s just the setting but garrett notes that foxes are hunters, they’re adaptable && they hunt ALONE. she decides then, in the cold && the rain, that bao is all she’ll ever need. herself.
you will see me thrive. sixteen years old && one call from her little brother sent her into a panic after work. The plea about life at home left in a voicemail sent her into a frenzy, motivating her to steal a car with her only driving experience playing with the racer boys for entertainment. Time && time again she’d thought of ways to end their hell && as she drove through the night her mind focused on one idea. BURN IT TO THE GROUND.
Arriving at what was once her home in the late afternoon she found only Christian in the house. Hours of planning what she would say, what she would do, turn to nothing but shouting, heated words over their shared pain turned into threats && violence. Fighting back for once, she got the upper hand long enough to use her father’s bourbon && set the house alight.
Taken away by the police, she didn’t protest or argue. She did what she had to, burned down a hellhole && that was all she needed. Feeling numb through interviews && processing, she tonelessly repeated the same thing again && again. She KNEW Christian was in there, she KNEW because it was HIM who gave her the cuts && bruises that marred her skin but she NEVER meant to kill anyone.
Held on arson && attempted murder, her parents wanted to bury her. Bury Grace Ward && pretend she never existed to the best of their ability. Attempts to petition the court to trial her as an adult failed but through bribery && corruption, despite her court appointed lawyer assuring her she’d get the minimum; she was sentenced to seven years. In light of that he lawyer claimed, as she held back tears, that with good behavior she’d be released when she turned eighteen instead of going to a real prison.
Life wasn’t meant to work out like that && instead, through fighting for others in the rehabilitation center she got transferred to a real prison. Served with the news she’d been disowned on her eighteenth birthday, she felt lost && hopeless. A month later she tried to kill herself but was caught && saved first. Diagnosed with depression, a girl who had once prided herself on her queen b attitude became withdrawn but never scared. Still getting into fights, her lack of impulse control got her into more trouble than her what she’d been branded as – a teenage psychopath. After getting stabbed from a fight gone too far she became scared && at twenty one years old she was diagnosed with anxiety.
Prison sentence finally over at twenty two she was sent back into a world that didn’t want her. Her gramsy left her enough money to get herself somewhere to live for a while at the least. Dropping the ‘Ward’ from her name, when her money was running out she found a job as a barista in New York. Even that proved too expensive for even a crappy apartment && took a job as a stripper alongside it.
unpretty constallations. the second she heard whispers && talks about being sent away her life changed. it wasn’t her fault; it had never been her fault. she tried to help, tried to stop chris, tried to be good. that wasn’t good enough, esther would NEVER allow her to stay && risk her youngest son’s safety. she was going to be sent away, passed around, alone. she never even made it out of town. it was too easy to slip away from the social worker && hide until she could get a bus in the morning. if she was going to be alone && without a home then it would be on her terms, her choice.
for years she tried to stay off the radar, falling in with the BAD crowds. starting with only an offered fag she found worse. drugs, drink, sex ;; anything && everything that could numb her life. they dominated the next years of her life until she was seventeen. stabbed in a case of mistaken identity when on her way to buy something new it was the wake up call she needed to change her life. it wasn’t all that successful, most of her money still came from petty theft&& she still stayed in crappy places on the wrong side of town with a small duffel of essentials.
home's not a place. she’d survived months by the time he came along, or rather by the time she’d noticed him. he was good && she couldn’t seriously decide if john sent him or if he was some professional serial killer (she absolutely didn’t hope its the latter.)
but she went back time && time again, shane her first real friend in years, && john became a choice she regretted. she changed her mind, preferring shane, friendship &&happiness to being alone in the forest. she doesn’t find out what happened after john knocked her out, feels guilty over what garrett did to him (feels guilty for what shane had to do to him)but they leave the forest with buddy.
she becomes a proper agent of SHIELD, stays with shane (&& it was really just inevitable they’d end up together, wasn’t it?) but they don’t advertise it. she doesn’t keep a secret from him for years until she’s assigned to coulson’s team, unable to tell him about the agents survival. (maybe she does let it slip to him but the stress && situation around it makes up for that.)
we die like children. nearly eight old when garrett scouted her, seeing potential in the girl, he kept a close eye on her for three months before thomas wards near death experience hit the papers. knowing their desperate situation, need to cover it up fast, he approached them with a deal. they’d give him grace for hydra’s own government funded red room experiment && he’d make all their problems go away -- it was a win-win situation on both sides.
her grandmothers protests did nothing but achieve a late visit && the day of the funeral garrett took her away. for over a month he tried to break her but physical pain did nothing to hurt her when she was already used to it. deciding she had too much comfort in the thoughts of her siblings, he tried a different approach. appearing to her as a friend he told her how burning her old home would save them && only after the fire began to truly catch did she find out they were all in there. hearing the cries she tried to save them but garrett dragged her back && made her watch. scars on her back && stomach from the burns served as a constant reminder for her failure. being thrown into a room with other girls (bobbi, jemma && daisy) she found some comfort in them. the trust && comfort lasted only two months before they were separated again, brainwashed with propaganda && trust shattered she saw the other girls again.
training for five years day in && day out, blood began to soak her hands. lessons learning about history were a refuge alongside kara palamas until the girl disappeared on her first mission. barely a week after her first field mission with the girls at thirteen, garrett dragged her out of her room at night after days of punishment, she knew no better to complain or fight back even as he played a tape of her siblings cries from the fire. it took six more years for help to arrive, with the rise of hydra coulson rescued the girls from the camp. (au with casey, lily && cat but welcome to others)
raising hell all over town. brought up in a rich political family, grace was well acquainted with life in the spotlight. a reporter finding her kissing another girl at 14 exposed her sexuality to her parents, inspiring her hatred for paperazzi, && their anger with her potentially ruining their reputation lead them to ignore her uncle raping her in the belief it’d fix her. refusing to hide her sexuality she was given until she was 18 to get out before she was disowned leading to her last ditch attempt to get somewhere by auditioning on americas got talent. picked up by shield records alongside bobbi, daisy && jemma, they experienced successful close careers before her assault on a pap lead her to leave the band for hydra instead. (group verse. check the tag for more tbh. &&here for the post)
like you're there for me too. grace had a pretty spoiled upbringing despite the lack of love in the family, meeting daisy at six years old they became fast friends && they remained so until the end of high school bringing her close to the coulson family. starting to get involved with a gang called hydra she all but cut contact with daisy && after several years of no contact with her once best friend, she ran to her after running out on her wedding to sunil bakshi. being cut off by her disappointed parent's she moved into daisy's apartment && got a job at the coffee shop they hung out at. (group verse. check the post here tbh)
said we'd never make it out alive. beating people up for money wasn't the career she'd imagined as a kid moving out to LA away from her family. she wanted to be an actress but things never work out how you want them too &&getting thrown some money after hitting a guy in the face inspired a new career. get payed up front, find the victim && beat the shit out of them. a simple job without too much competition even if the 'nice guys ' were stirring things up. (works for 70's && modern. not really closed but mainly used with casey &&lily tbh)
we had far too much fun. daughter of billionaires, the ward family was well known in both business && political worlds although the abuse was kept hidden. at fourteen years old she took her sisters punishment for her && as her father hit her with his belt, no one noticed the cigar blow to close to the curtains. house on fire, grace barely got out alive thanks to her younger siblings but their parent's didn't make it. despite being suspected && accused of the fire, there was no proof && while christian took guardianship &&control of the family company, their grandmothers own fortune had been left to her alone. years spent trying to get the money for himself to fund his ventures, she got out of control. eventually he convinced the company to send her to the billionaire boot camp in the hope it'd prove she couldn't be trusted. (also not really closed but typically used with casey && lily again)
start your life over. princess of a small but rich country, grace is second in line to the throne despite her parents wanting thomas to be the next to take the throne instead. (general royalty au tbh but most used with lily && casey again probably)
BASIC INFORMATION
Full Name: grace darling ward Meaning: kindness, mercy, beauty, protector. Birth Date: january 7th 1983 Age: 33 Zodiac: capricorn Gender: female Romantic Orientation: biromantic (heavy preference for women) Sexual Orientation: bisexual
SKILLS & ABILITIES
physical strength: fought a super soldier soooo speed: fast intelligence: pretty smart accuracy; high agility: high languages spoken: english, russian, spanish, italian, french && one unknown. drive?; badly jump-start a car?; yes change a flat tire?; with effort swim?; yes play chess?; yes pick a lock?; yes
Tropes: Abusive parents, affably evil, asskicking Equals Authority, the atoner, berserk button, broken pedestal, chick magnet, cunning linguist, Despair Event Horizon, Dragon Ascendant, Even Evil Has Loved Ones, Even Evil Has Standards, Heartbroken Badass, Hell-Bent for Leather. It's Personal, Love Redeems (temp), Only a Flesh Wound, Redemption Rejection, Tragic Villain, Then Let Me Be Evil, Wild Card, Villainous Breakdown. Jung Type: ESFP Enneagram Type: type 8. Temperament: Melancholic Element: Fire Drug Use: Previously Alcohol Use: Yes Prone to Violence?; Yes
// CONTACTS THE SUBJECT MAY GO TO IN EVENT OF BETRAYAL OR IN NEED OF HELP...RUN NAMES AND VERIFY ANY THREATS...MONITOR COMMUNICATIONS WITH THESE PERSONS CLOSELY.
a private,selective blog for a female grant ward from marvels agents of SHIELD on abc. MCU divergent. 616 canon to the SHIELD comics series. au && fandom flexible. happy to adapt to any point in the timeline. please be aware, TRIGGERING CONTENT will be found on this blog. rebooted 01.06.16 from oblivionmet. first est. 02.15. occasional periods of low activity due to college.
STATS
30 drafts&& 2 inbox as of 20.02.17. accepting new plots.
