( 1. did we do flower crowns right??2. there’s no chocolate left. sorry guys!!3. when you get caught stuffing your face cause you’re too hungry to care 4. #regram5. caught bobs face listening to another lecture on this no shooting people thing 6. we’ve clearly mastered the selfie )
she smiles, not the smile she reserved for the girls but the one she LEARNT to give john pretending she was happy. the one she started using on targets to make them relax before they died. she s l a p s the other girl, ballsher fist && digs her nails into her palm. “fuck no!what the fuck daisy—– you were dead!!!”
“—————-please can we keep him??? please, please, PLEASE daisyyyyy? look at his eyes daisy –buddy junior loves you already. just help me outvote the others && we can steal him.”
"Come on, now. You've lived through worse than this. Just... Just live through this too." ( lol as if you haven't fukcked me up enough lately )
she might laugh if her throat didn’t hurt so much because THIS is what they were trained not to be. desperate, pleading, caring– being there for someone who was dying. ‘they’re weak’ their first teacher had shouted as he stalked them like a shark ‘ if they were meant to live they would drag themselves to the checkpoint. ’
she is weak. she can’t even stand but she thinks the blame for that lies somewhere between her broken arm&& the sharp splinter of metal in her side. it was long && just thick enough she couldn’t grasp it with one hand. they had meant just to keep her out of the way– they’d been proclaiming for weeks they want to hold them ACCOUNTABLE at a trial instead of just killing them, that quake had been an accident. she didn’t believe them, they just wanted to see if they could get anything out of them now.
“when —-” she grimaces at the pain speaking brings ( she can still FEEL his hands around her neck but when she tries to remember the fight itself she just sees john closing his hands around her throat && scolding her for screaming at the pain. ) “can’t remember much WORSE.”
she wonders if this is REAL. maybe it’s a hallucination from the blood loss, maybe it’s her imagination trying to hide her fear with something she wanted more than anything ;;g o d, she hopes this is real. nothing has felt more realsince she heard daisy was dead– it has to be.
“you survived” she grins before she really does laugh. flinching at the pain it causes, it’s worth it when she looks at daisy with her uninjured hand gripping the metal pole she was impaled on && thinks she sees a smile too. “you bitch.”
“ grace ??” the brunette knocked on the older girls’ bunk door a few times before trying the doorknob. unlocked. she swung the door open to see her friend curled up under her blankets && daisy smiled ( a rare sight ) before placing the stack of pancakes on grace’s bedside table. she was surprised grace hadn’t woken by now, especially since their red room training beat light sleeping into all of them, but the previous mission had taken a mental toll on everyone at the shield base && most people had crashed. grace included. daisy grabbed a pad of paper from the desk && quickly scribbled out a message, setting it next to the pancakes, &&then darting out of the room.
pumpkin pancakes. your favorite. take it easy gracie.
So the knife thing ( im on mobile ) and i want it in red room pls thank you
she doesn’t want to do this. in the three years they’d been there it’s one of the only thoughts she remembers that’s entirely her own. she knows WHY it’s happening too – garrett had whispered it in her ear the night before between the grunts while his hand clamped over her mouth && she forced herself not to cry(he hated it when she started crying in pain. he always said she should know better by now.)
he’d said then that they were both getting WEAK, whitehall thought they’d been looking out for each other far too much recently, they were loosing their sharp edges. then he’d told her h o w to do it – how to kill daisy– she’s still not sure what made her feel sicker when she thought about it. the pain or the thought of what she’d have to do to the girl who’s hair she once braided &&sung to sleep.
she had been preparing herself since then, had refused to sleep so she could plan instead – she wouldn’t disappoint john. she would be the one walking out of there ALIVE, she wouldn’t be the one taken to the labs to become a half dead test rat. she’s not a failure like her parents thought, she won’t be one of the hopeless children with no faces && no names. she’s never been so sure of anything in her eleven years.
it changes with the knife in her hand. it’s weight heavy, it’s wicked glint blinding – it’s the manifestation of john’s burning hungry gaze && HIGH expectations. she looks at daisy && sees her own DESPERATION reflected in her dark eyes && the knife nearly falls from her grip. this is a fight to the death, this is to establish an order&&weed out the weak, this is to crush the souls they had only just began to rebuild.
she no longer just doesn’t want to do it – she can’t do it. she knows that now, she knows her own weakness && it’s the girl standing across from her that’s always been somewhere between a replacement for her lost sister&& her FRIEND. she can’t do it && she wants to kill something with the realization —– she doesn’t want to disappoint john either.
lips parted to speak, words on the tip of her tongue;; they turn to a sharp cry of PAIN before she can register the change. the knife slips from her fingers, c l a t t e r s to the ground impossibly LOUD, && she gasps for air before she feels a sharp tug – the blade slides back out of her gut roughly.
her eyes flicker down to see the blood stained knife&& the blood seeping from the wound to stain the uniform she’d been given just last year. blinking quickly as if it was a bad dream, like it was all her imagination, she looks back up only to meet daisy’s eyes. she can see herself in them && she’s ASHAMED of the fear she sees.
the knife plunges back into her gut &&twists&& she screams– she’s shaking so hard she worries she will fall && she wonders if THIS is what betrayal felt like. red hot pain &&ice cold fear &&wet sticky blood between your fingers. she can only whimper when she feels it again &&again but each burst of pain only provide her with acceptance. she’s going to die before she can see johns disappointment && ANGER.
she wonders WHO in this world she hates more. her parents for giving her away like she was a meaningless animal?daisy for never caring enough about her that she could do this so CALMLY?herself for being weak when john had tried to help her only for her to FAIL him? for a brief fleeting second, between weak gasps for breath &&choking on the blood filling her mouth, she even considers john but she hates herself more for even giving thought to the idea he was to blame for any of this – that she should hate h i m. this is her own fault && she knows that NOW.
BLOOD falls from her lips && she whimpers in pain but she grabs daisy’s shoulder with one shaking hand && pulls her close to wrap the other around her in a poor mockery of a HUG. it’s okay because their handlers aren’t here to see this part, she can be scared before she dies. she can be weak again.
she holds onto daisy’s small body like AN ANCHOR && struggles to force her words out. she brushes her lips against daisy’s ear && finds the strength at last “it — it’s —–it’s okay. i forgive you.”
trained together from the start – a bond formed in blood && pain that cannot be truly broken. you would kill each other if given the ORDER but you understand, you respect ;; you know each other. it shows in the nights spent hiding in alleyways together && the days spent fighting until muscles ache. you have each others backs, you know, && only the devil knows what you would do if the other died.
her arms tightened around her knees && she tilted her head to trace her eyes over the mutt that had been following them. it’s wet fur was dirty from mud && other trash that littered the ground of the alley they were currently residents of. maybe if she tried hard enough she could simply wish it all away. if she closed her eyes real tight, she could almost see herself back in china, wrapped in her favorite blanket with her mother’s soothing voice warming her heart. it had been so long since she’d heard her mother’s lullabies, but if she tried hard enough she could remember every word. somehow hydra hadn’t taken that when they took everything else.
“ what’s so bad about dying anyway??”
her memory vanished as grace’s voice found it’s way in && daisy was suddenly hit with the cold of the rain all over again. she can’t stop herself from asking though. maybe everything leading up to it is awful. hunger, torture, training. but if she died, maybe she could see her mama again. what else did she have to live for? “ ‘s better than being here. in the cold. ”
“wha’ they do to us first” she remembers, once, john had turned away && she had been left alone in one of the outbuildings. one they didn’t get to go in, only the failures. she hadn’t wandered far through the bright white halls, no bright red stains like the others, but she had found a door. still open a crack, the sound of machines && crying had reached her ears && drawn her inside before she could stop herself.
there had been a boy on the table, one she had been fighting just the day before. he had lost &&, strapped down to a metal table, he had lost an arm too. some of his skin had been FLAYED from the bone just like in her nightmares of tommy &&rosie && she had pinched herself so hard she bled hoping it was just a dream.
john had clapped his hand on her thin shoulder, pulled her into him && away from the table. a small voice had begged for death in the way her brother had asked if she would protect him&& she had turned her face into johns side to escape. he had told her curiosity killed the cat, disappointment clear in his voice, but then he had pressed a gun into her hand. when she had aimed it at the boy he hadn’t corrected her && when blood hit her face he had proudly told her satisfaction brought it back.
“there’s worse things than dyin’ day, you know tha’.”
welcome to the rules page, ngl most of these are the standard you see everywhere but some are p important so please try && make it through. i’ll give you brownies. i’m Kita, i'm 17, at college redoing my a-levels after i failed terribly && I am TRASH for the bad guys, sort of worryingly. never be afraid to hmu &&, for the record, just call me trash or bitch to be my friend really.
general
i know some people are not comfortable with the cisswapped thing && i get it, everyone has these things but i won’t stand for claims that ALL cisswaps are transphobic/awful. i’ve put in two years of effort into grace over different blogs && she’s the one muse who has never left me, she && ward in general are very important to me. i won’t take hate on either.
canon divergence
my main verse is head of hydra, yes, i accepted it a couple of eps into s3 but i do not follow canon at all. i did not watch any of s3 prior to 3x10 && i REFUSE to because i’m stubborn && petty. grace’s hydra is not aos hydra. she never went after coulson, rosalind, andrew, may’s family etc because i disagree with the motive && reasoning. grace is a MESS, her hydra want’s closure&& chaos which means destroying shield as a whole&& not thinking much past that. she doesn’t think shield can’t go on without coulson because, FFS, she knows the team. please don’t contradict this in a thread/starter unless we plot it.
on the note of contradicting-- i also ignore aos retconning of the ward family situation. i do not believe ward actively hurt thomas on his own&& so neither did grace. it was all through fearof&& manipulationfrom christian although she was slightly bitter towards him. that is one thing i won’t change because, as someone who has lived in a abusive home && a normal person, i find it absolutely vile.
a thing to note ( for kara, trip && bobbi players ) is that you may see references to grace knowing them all at the academy. i HATE that aos tried to pretend that ward had never so much as seen bobbi && kara in passing despite being similar ages just like trip. so i include in my portrayal (most particularly with casey ) that they were all friends at the academy. i will however check with you to see if you’re cool with that.
hive
i do have a verse for this...thing aos did but only due to obligation. hive is NOT ward, not MY muse && when i have written for hive i feel drained. the verse is also heavily based in a HEADCANON of mine that ward was brainwashed by malick prior to going to maveth. i have reasoning for it, i’ve believed it since the ep aired && some things said in 3b only gave me more confirmation for it. in my hive verse that is extended to killingrosalind while brainwashed.
triggers
now lbr here, grant ward has a shit ton of issues in general && grace isn’t different. of course there’s the expected triggers like child abuse, blood, death, torture, mental illness, conditioning etc. but there’s a few others worth mentioning here -- through verses there’s a lot of drug use, underage drinking&&sex references && most importantly rape is a heavy topic in both my red room au && the reunion tour verse. i do tag everything i see but occasionally some stuff does slip but let me know && i’ll tag it straight away although if you find triggering content difficult you may not be best suited here.
mains && exclusives
i’m always here for mains, ngl, it’s v nice to have someone i know is always down for me coming at them with plots. i will only have 3 mains for one character at a time &&obviously there’s a difference between ship && full exclusivity. i’ve noticed something recently && it’s only happened once or twice but it’s really frustrating for me -- if you do go EXCLUSIVE with me, i do expect it to be for grant ward. i feel really hurt when i talk about going mains/exclusives&& suddenly grace isn’t classed as ward. moving past that, my exclusive && mains list is here.
woops, time to be an asshole
there’s some fcs i don’t feel very comfortable rping with based on things i can’t really get past. that’s my problem && all but this is MY blog && if we don’t really know each other && you have one of these fcs i probably won’t want to rp with you -- holland roden, colton haynes.
shipping
i have my ships just like everyone&& for fitz rpers in particular this is important to read because you may find a lot of love for fitzward. i ship it platonically&&romantically, honestly, i live && breathe this ship. it’s one of the few ships in aos regarding ward i adore. i will NEVER force fitzward on you, i swear, but if you think it’s bleeding into our thread then please come tell me so i can correct it. i never want to force a ship on anyone. on a different note however, i enjoy ALL types of relationships && am hella here for them.
skyeward
ew nO NO NO NO NO. i DON’T much like the ship, i don’t like aos baiting it all the time for ratings, && no offence if you ship it but i can’t. the ship was unhealthy&& bad && some of the shippers have made it worse. the only hints of skyeward you see from me is with lily because, through verses && aus, our muses developed a sort of friendship. i will pointedly ignore aos && rewrite this framework bullshit in my verse for it.
smut
i’m seventeen so smut is a no no&& i don’t see it ever being a yes either.
following
i am both selective &&private. this means i will only RP with mutuals && even then may be selective. it’s just something for my mental health&& to help me manage my time better. i do not follow personal blogs unless i know the person well or they post stuff i like most of the time. i reserve the right to unfollow at any time but I’m happy to provide a why.
icons
i make all of my icons with time && effort. i cap them myself && they are under no circumstances up for public use. i do commissions&& if you can’t afford it i do sometimes accept requests too.
replies
i’m not a fast replier in general. please don’t expect me to spit them out very fast because it won’t happen. most things go in my drafts && some are queued. i have a busy life&& that makes it hard to be on top of all my shit.
formatting
i format my posts with tiny text&& usually 70px icons however you NEVER need to match it. if you have sight problems please tell me&& i’ll be careful with how i format.
plotting
i love to plot things honestly. gimme all the pre-established relationships&& aus. plotting is great && it also makes things EASIER with some muses considering grace can be kind of hard to place with some characters without being trope-y.
memes
always feel free to send me a meme. you don’t have to but if you do && want to turn it into a thread?make a new post && tag me.
innocence was never meant for you. born just after midnight, clock barely struck twelve && she was already seen as a disappointment to her parents. a golden eyed girl when they had wanted another boy out of their mistake; named for her grandmother out of convenience, she’s called many things as she grows (cute, precious, pure) but she’s never made to feel it. she smiles for the cameras&& kisses her fathers cheek, she holds her mothers hand && says she loves her brother but she hides in her room at night away from them all && she will never stop hearing the venomous hatred they whisper in her ear.
you feed then hatred. she grows up on extravagant parties, carefully planned lies&& PAIN. every party for as long as she can remember consists of her fathers older friends calling her over to their private table with the air around it THICK with smoke from their cigars. pulled onto their laps, asked seemingly meaningless questions they’d laugh to themselves about with her no wiser, their hands slip lower && lower from her waist as she gets older while her father never looks her in the eye &&no one speaks a word about it. the fear of punishment should she dare to speak against it or them causes her to lash out silently. setting fires&& skipping school && hanging out with the people on the wrong side of town she was warned about – the boy racers && druggies && people who were never leaving town – even when their touch made her skin crawl. caught up in her rebellion, she thinks about the one thing that had always terrified her; her sexuality.
a deal with the devil. rebellion goes too far for her parent's && caught kissing a girl they ship her off to a boarding school miles away from where she can do their reputation harm. with only the quiet confidence she built up to protect herself, she keeps herself out of too much trouble despite her self destruction. cut off &&alone, she uses what she sees when others aren't looking to lie && bribe her way into a job at a bar she's too young to be working at. years of separating herself from everything around her serves her well when drunks get too close for comfort && when john garrett approaches her with a deal she get's closer. weeks later she's not surprised when he blows out the brains of a drunk who'd gotten his attack so far as to rip her dress. waking up the next morning in his hotel, it's when she looks into his eyes &&still believes him as she accepts his offer that she's truly damned.
to be molded. walking through the woods, acutely aware there's no one around to help her, she's terrified when they find themselves stopping at a small clearing. left with only a dog she's sure she's made a mistake && when he leaves her she leaves too. the dog follows her down the trail of tire marks until it's too dark to see. it rains&& with a dog tucked into her side, she tries to use a tree as cover. in the morning, cold && tired && hungry &&soaked to the bone, she walks back to the clearing where she left the bag of damp clothes. five years later with a gun heavy in her hand she's not sure if she made the right choice anymore.
just kids training to die someday. five years ago she had imagined something different, her naivety had imagined something something similar to her boarding school. but john had taken the wool from her eyes, she saw it for what it was -- a place they were teaching kids even younger than her how to be SOLDIERS. she tells herself she won't make friends, make real connections that'll stop her getting the job done. she finds herself training mostly with bobbi morse, kara palamas && antionne triplett, she lies to them everyday but still, she almost calls them friends. (this headcanon is totally optional if your a tip, kara or bobbi who doesn't like it.)
thoughts are deadly. don't think. agent grace ward doesn't always sound right to her ears. sometimes being referred to as ward makes her wince, that was always her parents, but it reminds her WHY she's there. WHO put her there, it's extra motivation when she needs it after long nights lying awake wondering why she's doing it. she's one of the best, one of shields best, && she does it allfor garrett.
judas among angels. garrett had told her long before she was pulled out of her mission that coulson was alive but he never cared to mention the resurrected agent wanted to recruit her for his team. with garrett she had never cared about pretending to be someone she WASN'T but stuck with no respite it gets to her. the urge to care about people besides herself && garrett. it's not just paperwork she's bad at after all.
when is a monster not a monster. it's the worst possible time for hydra to come out. the belonging she had felt for the first time in her life ends abruptly && it leaves a hollow, desperate, space in her. but in a choice of family or garrett, he would win every damn time.
they didn't look close enough. alone in the basement like a pet monster, she finds only silence. in the silence && the dark she finds memories. the memories plague her, of garrett, of her family. eventually they start to seem different from what she knows is true && it drives her crazy, drives her to desperation to make it END until she cuts her skin with well folded paper && runs into walls to make it stop. they save her for what she might know && she resents them for it until she can only accept it. she gives them the information they want when they ask for it && when they sell her to her brother like she's an item in a business transaction she runs. she finds him, she finds her parent's && after she finds the truth she kills them for access to daniel whitehall.
love so sweet. left for dead, it's kara palamas who saves her. almost disconcerting wearing may's face but they look after each other, they save each other. they never mean to become MORE but after weeks together bare with no judgement they do. she loves her, she loves her more than she's ever loved anyone. she never believed in soulmates before but with kara she's sure she's found the one. they get a house in mexico, they pick up work here && there but then coulson calls like they're at his beck && call. they help for their own ends && yet it only ends in kara dead in her arms.
a time old tragedy. with kara dead she's left alone again but in grief &&anger she clings to closure && never lets go. coulson once called her modest, said she knew a guy who knew a guy &&he was right. she calls old freelance contacts who did some work with hydra, gets them to find the remaining names. nothing but getting closure for kara matters to her anymore when she raises hydra from the ashes again.
dig plenty of graves. killed far from home on a mission she would never normally have gone on, she had been molded a long time ago, a survivor forged in dirt && rain, but with nothing left there’s nothing to keep her fighting. not against malick when he takes over && tries to assume a fatherly role for the lost girl who needed one. not against malick when he gives orders on WHO to kill with no why or care. not when she sufferers the very fate the woman she loved had &&certainly not when every fiber of her being says it’s time to S T O P surviving &&die to let hive live. body a vessel && consciousness just another voice && set of memories in it’s mind ;; true death comes eventually.
not your death song. she once said ghosts weren’t real && yet, dead twice, she’s still walking the earth. not properly but she’s there, she’s can touch && feel && talk. she’s never used the good things in life to change though. not only a ghost physically but in name too, everything she ever had is confiscated or would catch someones interest. she needs to wait && get something going until then ;; a mercenary is the next best option. only corporal when she wants &&untraceable – it’s perfect for what she is now. and if she uses the newly found powers to haunt Coulson then who's going to disapprove.
bad ideas. grace ward, a shield agent recruited young&& working with phil coulson since, despite her vexing nature she proved herself a good if unremarkable spy. known more for being recklessthan her accomplishments she still managed to maintain working friendships with director maria hill && agent phil coulson.
be legendary. friendship had led to a level of TRUST between them so when they started talking about a deep cover intelligence mission they didn't see what could go wrong. they put operation wiseguy together in secret -- a deep cover mission in hydra to get information shield couldn't on master gorgon--&& upon taking it to hill she approved. with a small number of allies &&tricks their plan slowly worked.
got a death wish. mission nearly over, six months nearly up, she threw herself in front of a modified repulsor shot for gorgon in a last ditch attempt to get what they needed. waking up in an infirmary with gorgon waiting he told her his true plan of freeing the world && taken in by his words she agreed to help him. betraying shield, she truly became one of his lieutenants && an agent of hydra.
probably going to hell. working on making his plan succeed for years, eventually she got her hands on an old iron man suit && used it. kidnapping coulson && his ex girlfriend, lola daniels, for information on the 'coulson protocols ' she got what she wanted however after killing lola ended up captured alongside gorgon. kept in a shield cell, content with watching everything coulson built crumble down while planning an escape.
nearly killed her friends. she feels ashamed that they ever saw that side of her. it’s a sharp pain she’s reminded of when she looks at them BUT she still helped them kill Garrett, she chose to turn her back on him && side with them. After a few months && vigorous supervision Coulson allows her to become a real agent again. People are uneasy around her && she doesn’t blame them, she don’t feel comfortable in her own skin either.
look out for yourself. the worst (?) decision of her life is saying yes to the demon, the one offering her the chance to get rid of her family && live well for a handful of years before going to hell. she’s a girl with few skills in the home && too strong a mind for looks alone to find her a suitor. what other option did she have with her younger siblings dead? she leaves it all behind ;; almost enjoys life for the rest of her life before being dragged to hell. aptly named for what it is. but after hundreds of years she gets cut a deal by the same demon – leave hell as a demon && be part of his entourage. there to do the bidding of john garrett. it’s her hand at torture that draws his eyes, there’s so much she could do that others couldn’t && she even gets her body back for the trouble.
smart && cunning. the next pureblood slytherin daughter in a long line of them, she’s nothing new. not that she could be if she tried, the publicity could ruin her family. christian is both the perfect example to follow && her keeper, making sure she kept her head down and out of trouble. the one thing she could never do.
curveballs sometimes. she’s not long out of the academy && anyone else probably wouldn’t panic over the mistake as she does. she fucks up. she fucks up so much she is terrified to be alone with john. the look of utter disappointment on his face stings, something she never wants to see again. a simple mission, one she perfected long before she even met garrett. seduce her mark. && she did, she did so expertly. himnot so much. it wasn’t too much to ask for him to put on a condom properly yet clearly he didn’t agree because lying back in bed after the most boring, && frankly lacking, sex she had ever had — the condom’s missing. she’s bagged her guy with the con of having a condom stuck inside her.
the most embarrassing moment of her entire life is lying on a bed in a standard SHIELD med wing while dr dick lucas retrieves it. the hushed laughter about the whole thing only dies down for a few days before the weeks of being ill && acting strange sends her back to dr dick. she doesn’t process the word’s ‘you’re pregnant ’ at first then she goes into hysterics. it was never one of the things she wanted from life, especially not now. she can’t get rid of it though, not that she stops working. she continues missions for as long as she can, then she runs them from the back end.
orion thomas elias ward is born in the same med facility she went to when he was conceived && dr dick is there still. She’s not surprised; she knows that john ordered him to keep an eye on her. she certainly doesn’t take to it like a natural, it’s a learning process that leaves her feeling like she could write a book && go on the view.
another black sheep. grace darling ward — she started out as someone who could have been america’s next sweetheart but that was never really something for her. even if she smiled for the cameras, she caused trouble the second they turned away. but living in luxury paid for a degree she barely worked for&& an apartment she doesn’t really live in all for the price of going home every once in a while && doing a family photoshoot.
she got the political science degree they wanted &&dabbled in business but that doesn’t interest her, christian’s the politician&& tommy will probably take over mother’s business. she’s the black sheep, she wants to perform, she prefers FUN. she would rather get paid to have her picture taken, enjoy expensive cars && go out with her friends. she drinks too much && she just about hide the drugs from the public. it’s much more fun to keep secrets && flash a smile than try to do something. she’s young, she has the rest of her life to worry about everything else.
dirty paws. as everything should be, bao is the closest person to her. the closest anythingto her – she can’t remember naming him, she thinks gramsy suggested it. it’s fitting, he always took the form of something that would protect her. he finally settles on the second month in the woods, she thinks it’s just the setting but garrett notes that foxes are hunters, they’re adaptable && they hunt ALONE. she decides then, in the cold && the rain, that bao is all she’ll ever need. herself.
you will see me thrive. sixteen years old && one call from her little brother sent her into a panic after work. The plea about life at home left in a voicemail sent her into a frenzy, motivating her to steal a car with her only driving experience playing with the racer boys for entertainment. Time && time again she’d thought of ways to end their hell && as she drove through the night her mind focused on one idea. BURN IT TO THE GROUND.
Arriving at what was once her home in the late afternoon she found only Christian in the house. Hours of planning what she would say, what she would do, turn to nothing but shouting, heated words over their shared pain turned into threats && violence. Fighting back for once, she got the upper hand long enough to use her father’s bourbon && set the house alight.
Taken away by the police, she didn’t protest or argue. She did what she had to, burned down a hellhole && that was all she needed. Feeling numb through interviews && processing, she tonelessly repeated the same thing again && again. She KNEW Christian was in there, she KNEW because it was HIM who gave her the cuts && bruises that marred her skin but she NEVER meant to kill anyone.
Held on arson && attempted murder, her parents wanted to bury her. Bury Grace Ward && pretend she never existed to the best of their ability. Attempts to petition the court to trial her as an adult failed but through bribery && corruption, despite her court appointed lawyer assuring her she’d get the minimum; she was sentenced to seven years. In light of that he lawyer claimed, as she held back tears, that with good behavior she’d be released when she turned eighteen instead of going to a real prison.
Life wasn’t meant to work out like that && instead, through fighting for others in the rehabilitation center she got transferred to a real prison. Served with the news she’d been disowned on her eighteenth birthday, she felt lost && hopeless. A month later she tried to kill herself but was caught && saved first. Diagnosed with depression, a girl who had once prided herself on her queen b attitude became withdrawn but never scared. Still getting into fights, her lack of impulse control got her into more trouble than her what she’d been branded as – a teenage psychopath. After getting stabbed from a fight gone too far she became scared && at twenty one years old she was diagnosed with anxiety.
Prison sentence finally over at twenty two she was sent back into a world that didn’t want her. Her gramsy left her enough money to get herself somewhere to live for a while at the least. Dropping the ‘Ward’ from her name, when her money was running out she found a job as a barista in New York. Even that proved too expensive for even a crappy apartment && took a job as a stripper alongside it.
unpretty constallations. the second she heard whispers && talks about being sent away her life changed. it wasn’t her fault; it had never been her fault. she tried to help, tried to stop chris, tried to be good. that wasn’t good enough, esther would NEVER allow her to stay && risk her youngest son’s safety. she was going to be sent away, passed around, alone. she never even made it out of town. it was too easy to slip away from the social worker && hide until she could get a bus in the morning. if she was going to be alone && without a home then it would be on her terms, her choice.
for years she tried to stay off the radar, falling in with the BAD crowds. starting with only an offered fag she found worse. drugs, drink, sex ;; anything && everything that could numb her life. they dominated the next years of her life until she was seventeen. stabbed in a case of mistaken identity when on her way to buy something new it was the wake up call she needed to change her life. it wasn’t all that successful, most of her money still came from petty theft&& she still stayed in crappy places on the wrong side of town with a small duffel of essentials.
home's not a place. she’d survived months by the time he came along, or rather by the time she’d noticed him. he was good && she couldn’t seriously decide if john sent him or if he was some professional serial killer (she absolutely didn’t hope its the latter.)
but she went back time && time again, shane her first real friend in years, && john became a choice she regretted. she changed her mind, preferring shane, friendship &&happiness to being alone in the forest. she doesn’t find out what happened after john knocked her out, feels guilty over what garrett did to him (feels guilty for what shane had to do to him)but they leave the forest with buddy.
she becomes a proper agent of SHIELD, stays with shane (&& it was really just inevitable they’d end up together, wasn’t it?) but they don’t advertise it. she doesn’t keep a secret from him for years until she’s assigned to coulson’s team, unable to tell him about the agents survival. (maybe she does let it slip to him but the stress && situation around it makes up for that.)
we die like children. nearly eight old when garrett scouted her, seeing potential in the girl, he kept a close eye on her for three months before thomas wards near death experience hit the papers. knowing their desperate situation, need to cover it up fast, he approached them with a deal. they’d give him grace for hydra’s own government funded red room experiment && he’d make all their problems go away -- it was a win-win situation on both sides.
her grandmothers protests did nothing but achieve a late visit && the day of the funeral garrett took her away. for over a month he tried to break her but physical pain did nothing to hurt her when she was already used to it. deciding she had too much comfort in the thoughts of her siblings, he tried a different approach. appearing to her as a friend he told her how burning her old home would save them && only after the fire began to truly catch did she find out they were all in there. hearing the cries she tried to save them but garrett dragged her back && made her watch. scars on her back && stomach from the burns served as a constant reminder for her failure. being thrown into a room with other girls (bobbi, jemma && daisy) she found some comfort in them. the trust && comfort lasted only two months before they were separated again, brainwashed with propaganda && trust shattered she saw the other girls again.
training for five years day in && day out, blood began to soak her hands. lessons learning about history were a refuge alongside kara palamas until the girl disappeared on her first mission. barely a week after her first field mission with the girls at thirteen, garrett dragged her out of her room at night after days of punishment, she knew no better to complain or fight back even as he played a tape of her siblings cries from the fire. it took six more years for help to arrive, with the rise of hydra coulson rescued the girls from the camp. (au with casey, lily && cat but welcome to others)
raising hell all over town. brought up in a rich political family, grace was well acquainted with life in the spotlight. a reporter finding her kissing another girl at 14 exposed her sexuality to her parents, inspiring her hatred for paperazzi, && their anger with her potentially ruining their reputation lead them to ignore her uncle raping her in the belief it’d fix her. refusing to hide her sexuality she was given until she was 18 to get out before she was disowned leading to her last ditch attempt to get somewhere by auditioning on americas got talent. picked up by shield records alongside bobbi, daisy && jemma, they experienced successful close careers before her assault on a pap lead her to leave the band for hydra instead. (group verse. check the tag for more tbh. &&here for the post)
like you're there for me too. grace had a pretty spoiled upbringing despite the lack of love in the family, meeting daisy at six years old they became fast friends && they remained so until the end of high school bringing her close to the coulson family. starting to get involved with a gang called hydra she all but cut contact with daisy && after several years of no contact with her once best friend, she ran to her after running out on her wedding to sunil bakshi. being cut off by her disappointed parent's she moved into daisy's apartment && got a job at the coffee shop they hung out at. (group verse. check the post here tbh)
said we'd never make it out alive. beating people up for money wasn't the career she'd imagined as a kid moving out to LA away from her family. she wanted to be an actress but things never work out how you want them too &&getting thrown some money after hitting a guy in the face inspired a new career. get payed up front, find the victim && beat the shit out of them. a simple job without too much competition even if the 'nice guys ' were stirring things up. (works for 70's && modern. not really closed but mainly used with casey &&lily tbh)
we had far too much fun. daughter of billionaires, the ward family was well known in both business && political worlds although the abuse was kept hidden. at fourteen years old she took her sisters punishment for her && as her father hit her with his belt, no one noticed the cigar blow to close to the curtains. house on fire, grace barely got out alive thanks to her younger siblings but their parent's didn't make it. despite being suspected && accused of the fire, there was no proof && while christian took guardianship &&control of the family company, their grandmothers own fortune had been left to her alone. years spent trying to get the money for himself to fund his ventures, she got out of control. eventually he convinced the company to send her to the billionaire boot camp in the hope it'd prove she couldn't be trusted. (also not really closed but typically used with casey && lily again)
start your life over. princess of a small but rich country, grace is second in line to the throne despite her parents wanting thomas to be the next to take the throne instead. (general royalty au tbh but most used with lily && casey again probably)
BASIC INFORMATION
Full Name: grace darling ward Meaning: kindness, mercy, beauty, protector. Birth Date: january 7th 1983 Age: 33 Zodiac: capricorn Gender: female Romantic Orientation: biromantic (heavy preference for women) Sexual Orientation: bisexual
SKILLS & ABILITIES
physical strength: fought a super soldier soooo speed: fast intelligence: pretty smart accuracy; high agility: high languages spoken: english, russian, spanish, italian, french && one unknown. drive?; badly jump-start a car?; yes change a flat tire?; with effort swim?; yes play chess?; yes pick a lock?; yes
Tropes: Abusive parents, affably evil, asskicking Equals Authority, the atoner, berserk button, broken pedestal, chick magnet, cunning linguist, Despair Event Horizon, Dragon Ascendant, Even Evil Has Loved Ones, Even Evil Has Standards, Heartbroken Badass, Hell-Bent for Leather. It's Personal, Love Redeems (temp), Only a Flesh Wound, Redemption Rejection, Tragic Villain, Then Let Me Be Evil, Wild Card, Villainous Breakdown. Jung Type: ESFP Enneagram Type: type 8. Temperament: Melancholic Element: Fire Drug Use: Previously Alcohol Use: Yes Prone to Violence?; Yes
// CONTACTS THE SUBJECT MAY GO TO IN EVENT OF BETRAYAL OR IN NEED OF HELP...RUN NAMES AND VERIFY ANY THREATS...MONITOR COMMUNICATIONS WITH THESE PERSONS CLOSELY.
a private,selective blog for a female grant ward from marvels agents of SHIELD on abc. MCU divergent. 616 canon to the SHIELD comics series. au && fandom flexible. happy to adapt to any point in the timeline. please be aware, TRIGGERING CONTENT will be found on this blog. rebooted 01.06.16 from oblivionmet. first est. 02.15. occasional periods of low activity due to college.
STATS
30 drafts&& 2 inbox as of 20.02.17. accepting new plots.
